time really flies... 3 yrs of kindergarden... 6 yrs of pri sch, PSLE, 4 yrs of sec sch, O levels... now? poly... how much longer will these kinda study life stop for me? Bah.. at times i love studying.. at times... it sucks. thinking back, for the past 18 yrs... wht have i achieved? actually. quite alot.. though it's not in terms of trophy. i should be quite satisfied in life... though God doesn't always give me what i wan.. but He always provide me with all He thinks i need. The endless test he has given me, and the temptations i've got... alot of times.. i jus wanna give up... but i know.. he will not test me things that i can't carry. Humans do'nt give u assurance.. but God will.. but at times.. it's hard when he's not physically around. was reading this book.. and saw this

topic: Understand your shape

It is this last category, painful experiences, that God usede the most to prepare you for ministry. God never wastes a hurt! in fact, your grestest ministry will most likely come out of your greates hurt.

God intentionally allows you to go through painful experience to equip you for ministry with others. The bible says 'he comforts is in all our troubled so that we can comfort others. When other are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us'

If you really desire to be used by God, you must understand a powerufl truth: they very experiences that you have resented or regretted most in life - the ones you've wanted to hide and forget- are the experiences God wants to use to help others. they are your ministry!

lastly, "Experience is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you"

After reading and typing this... i think i know what's for me. and i kinda found my ans that i've always been asking this person. What i received might not be what i wanted, but it's the best. What i've given out.. it's out of my heart, but not asking anything in return. SIgh.. i should be a nun.. haha.. not becoz i think i can't get married lah... it's other things...

Let Them Hear

I have no words to offer,

They simply get in the way,

When i try to explain you,

There's nothing sacred left to say--

You are who You are,

And You always will be,

So here is my prayer

Let them hear you through me,

Let Your words be mine.

Let them see that Your love

is the reason i'm inspired.

And when given the choice,

May they recognise Your voice,

Let them hear You through me, O Lord.

I do'nt have all the answers,

All i know is what You've shown,

And i'm longing for those moments

When you'll make Your mysteries known.

Till then, I will be

Who you've called me to ne,

So again, hear my prayer

And may i always know

Tha words are not enough.