some guys might think that it's understandable.. that need not be stated, or said. some guys.. think they deserve it, that's why people are giving it to them. some guys thinks that keeping it that way.. is a right way... i would say.. GALS ARE NOT TO BE TREATED THIS WAY?! where are all the gentlemen in this world? gals dominate in everything? yar.. gals can be as good as guys.. but certain things... certain responsibility still plays a part.. i don't feel like a gal at all! i'm not treated like a gal.. pampered like a gal. I AM A GAL.. perhaps.. becoz i'm a FAT gal.. that makes me different.. perhaps... (i'm gonna bring this not nice thing out) becoz... i'm a gal who has BIGGER assets.. that makes me different. but so what?

i'm disappointed. it makes me feel that ppl are attached to me for something.. in pri sch.. no one attached to me.. co i'm a bitch.. in sec sch?? once my grades are A, u can see alot of ppl approaching me. and now? not grades that matters.. not talent that matters.. but it makes me feel that money is the factor. NO, i'm not rich, definitely i'm not... but i jus at times.. have a lil extras.. that's all.

i started re-thinking about certain things.. maybe i gave u the wrong impression, that made u have such a perception towards me. if it's really that impression that u have... i'm really disappointed... i rather u leave my life. i don't feel treated like a normal gal.. when i speak to other elder guys about it.. they shook head.

i feel so outcast from everywhere... i don't need sympathies from anyone.. i feel that i can't mix in with anyone, my friend, band, class.. i'm jus a fucking bitch. what else? with a stupid temper. i can't stand things that are slow.. i can't stand nonsense... who can stand me? as much as those who hated me wanna know how can my friends tahan me.. i don't know too. i only know i'm a big bitch that's all. there's no sense of belonging. i feel stupid, foolish.. i think i'm jus a slut.. who can be played by anyone.. anyplace.. i no longer have any value in me. i'm not worth a penny.