It's not easy.. and it's stressing and scaring me... i suddenly felt so heavy even though that thing is still quite a few days away from me.. but becoz of competition and projects... i don't have that much time as i sounded as if i have... bleahs....

keke.. had my cheese cake today.. FINALLy!! like... after craving for it for days... hmmm... ytr watch POTC also.. .keke.. nice nice.. but i think epi 1 is better than epi 2..

sigh.. i'm super tired le... loooking at the com... i can assure u.. that i'm what seeing is all.. going in circles and rounds.. like i'm going to faint anytime from now...

i slpt ytr.. knowing what dreams i would dream... and i really got that dream.. but subconsiously, i know that my dreams will always not come true.. and i don't wanna dream about that thing which i wan it to come true.. i somehow managed to wake myself up with a push.. and continue slping...

for yrs.. or months? i think at least for the past 1 yr lah.. i had been hoping and hoping... that certain things will happen, when i clearly know for sure that it won'thappen... but i'm jus so dumb... i came across a blog.. saying that.. this gal had been with this guy... with no feelings and such.. purely for ulterior motive.. which, is not for money.. but to anger or whtsoever another party... am i doing the same? sigh... there are exceptions to EVERY SINGLE THING. including r/s. what u said.. are only what u wish to have.. doesn't mean.. that it would suit u most. jus like in POTC, they say.. "those are jus like guidelines... not laws" it's not a must.. i kinda regret saying what i've said.. each time i say it.. i regret it.. i look forward to something.. but... i really know it won't happen.. no matter how much i want it.. or like it... and my dream ytr is connected to this topic...

this is one of my fave song...

Packing up the dreams God planted

In the fertile soil of you

I Can't believe the hopes He's granted

Means a chapter in your life is through

But we'll keep you close as always

It won't even seem you've gone

Cause our hearts in big and small ways

Will keep the love that keeps us strong

(CHORUS)

And friends are friends forever

If the Lord's the Lord of them

And a friend will not say "never"

Cause the welcome will not end

Though it's hard to let you go

In the Father's hands we know

That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends.

With the faith and love God's given

Springing from the hope we know

We will pray the joy you'll live in

Is the strength that now you show

But we'll keep you close as always

It won't even seem you've gone

Cause our hearts in big and small ways

Will keep the love that keeps us strong