who says i'm a kai xin guo.. who thinks i have a nice smile? they are wrong.. i'm none of those.. if i am once those... maybe.. but.. u won't see that part of me from now on.. all the pics i've taken.. the smile... fake.. so fake... i wanna have a last good cry... hope it's gonna be last.. and i could forget what happened for the past 3 years.. what i feared most.. is happening.. coz i'm letting it to happen. maybe i'm dumb.. or maybe i'm not.. it's diff to have someone like this... is it becoz u know ppl too well that things became like this? my world came down on me... it's so hard.. so so so hard.. i'm sounding like someone whom everyone hates.. i know.. and so detestful... i dislike myself too.. how much i say.. things also won't change... coz.. i only make myself more detestful to ppl.. there's nothing that i do.. is good enough for anyone... other than my mom.. i jus don't hold any place to anyone. i was naive.. no.. holding a place doesn't mean... those kinda holding a place in the sense of... getting.. more than jus friends.. i've nv thought about that. nvm.. you've got plently of friends... it doesn't make a difference if i'm there or not.. but it makes a diff to me.. nvm.. i'll learn..

concert was nice today... a big THANK YOU to all my clarinetist and the PnC comm... as well as apologies to them.. sorry for taking all my temper.. i know it's hard on ur part as well...