IT'S JUS NOT MY DAY!!! nothing went well today... what went well? oh well, only the service in church went well.. still got wht? NOTHING.!!! i'm suspose to be living in my dreams today.. having to perform in a piano concert... but it sucks..!!! ppl said it turn out well, but as a player.. i know wht's correct and wht's wrong.. playing wrong notes are obviously WRONG!!!! i was so damn calm... everything was going so cool... walking up to the piano confidently.. and when i sat down!! OH GOSH!!! everything went numb... mind went black! wht's tht stupid attitude of mine?? it's not a joke.! it's it suspose to be a joke casted on me? i almost broke down... but not infront of the audience rite... i held back my tears... i aren't feeling good till now...

then.. in the noon, my lip bum was lost.. so i went to buy one.. in any case should my mother find out tht i lost my lip bum and starts nagging.. and the new one.. is LOST!!! how great.. well... am i suspose to say.. melinda, well done. can i say.. melinda go and die?! nvm.. one lip bum.. can always buy again... but when i came back home from concert.. i wanna change back my earrings... and guess wht? the earring tht cost 70 bucks!! tht's given for my bdae is lost.?!! wht's the heck wrong with me.. y is the whole world collapsing on me...??

tml going to malacca... meeting at 7am at admiratly... i already don't have much interest on going for this trip... concert is wht i've been praying for.. for years.. when i finally come to be my turn.. i jus.. jus... ruin it! concert... is more impt to me than marriage ok! i don't mind not getting married for music... i'm all prepare to be a convent nun actually. it's a day i've been looking forward to.. and wht is this??? WHAT IS THIS?? i had enough... it's like... not tht i'm stupid... but this music career is really the most impt thing to me... more than money... more then guys.. more than branded stuff.. more than anything you can name... felt really really useless...