mental state: exhausted, sleepy
physical state: listless, exhausted
feelings: sad, sleepy, grumpy

i feel as if i jus came back from a holiday, but the fact is, no. been beside my family members the past few days to cheer them on... resulting in a melinda, who is hardly home for the past few days.. it's good enough to see me at home for 6 hours (slping) the past few days... my lifestyle is jus.. wake up, work, go funeral, back, slp.. but the time i come back.. it's normally 1am??

nonetheless, that's the least i could do for my deceased aunt. met super lots of relatives... and they will jus go "u are whose child?". big big family, they tried listing out the family tree... we have at least 130 relatives.. but sad to say, all these happened too sudden, not all are informed.

these few days... i've been thinking alot again... on my family, about life, about so many things...

during the funeral mass today, while my cousin is giving a speech on his mom.. he brought ou beautiful points... one of which...

"life is jus like a concert, a musical, a punk rock concert. who would go home and cry and mourn about it? who would go home and feel sad? i normally go home telling myself how lucky i was, to be able to attend such a good concert."

he was tryingt o imply that its the same for life... everyone's life is like a concert, at the end of the concert, be glad that u went for that concert, u met this person... at the end of it... rejoice that u had been there... rejoice for that person as well that they had gone to a place where there is no more sorrows... he added that seeing his mom.. is like... listening to the last movement of the symphony... he kinda "scolded" us... (but actually trying lighten up the mood) and said "so, why are you all so disobedient to my mom's wishes (cos most r crying)"

he actually done reseach on what's after life.. and went through the stories of those who live to talk about their near-death story... thus, able to prepare himself so such... these few days.. i only see smiles on his face...

sigh... about this few days event.. it is super long.. it will forever be in my heart...

the smile of my aunt.. the glory of hers... the memories of my extended family, will always be in my mind...

you will be missed.. i am already missing you..