WHY IS EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE LEAVING ME?!

Why don't i leave this world instead.. its jus not a place for me...

tons and tons of mistunderstanding... one after another...

i wan that.. i really want that.. but i can't have..

i leave it to God's will...

its not gonna be the same... it'll never be the same...

is trust still there? is believe still there? is the friendship still there? don't bother to address it.. i wanted to know.. but i won't confront anymore... it won't make a diff.. to me.. its the world.. to him or other ppl.. its jus an ant...

The impt of everyone.. cos they deserve it.. i don't...

don't worry.. without melinda.. the world will be a much better place yea...

i asked myself.. what is this? do i really mean what i think and say?

nah... i don't wanna repeat myself anymore.. maybe i'm jus a liar yeah... others better.. i'm convinced by that...

i don't wanna wsay anymore... i don't wish to say goodbye...

i wish to cry my lungs out..

maybe this is life.. the MELINDA life... i really feel like standing in the mid of the road.. and let a car whack.. but don't worry.. i need no sympathy of urs... u can walk away...

at night.. when i was lying on my bed, talking to GOd, i asked him, will u be taking me with u when i sleep? whn will u be taking me?

i'm not a likable child.. becos i've got a fucked up attitude.. that even my parents dislike me.. who likes me?! nuts.. that person must be nuts...

if i die.. no need funeral le... jus straight burn.. don't waste money... no one will bother to see.. nor will they wanna come..

i'm not kind and understanding.. not pretty and cheerful.. not open hearted enough.. not fair enough..

i blame it upon myself