hmmm... another day had passed, i wonder who is looking at this blog, weel, maybe i'm the only one looking at it ba. day had been so confused. i really do not know what i wan. i'm jus not hapy.is it a lust? or love. i can't love, i know i can't play in the game. i can't afford to play, i fall easily, and i dislike standing up.i hope that i can get everything out of my mind! help me will you? i pray so hard.. asking God to save me.. save me!!! wht is this? it's enough of hurt. i see so many ppl in the state of love, i'm jealous, y am i so? i'm not like this in the past.! i'm ok with it... happy for them!HELP~

sigh.>!!! haha.. for those who had been seeing my blog on and off, knew that i haven't been blogging for donkey months! haha... jus kinda busy, anyway, these 3 months had been fun for me. from collection of O levels results, to the matriculation day... then learning of piano, till the point tht i'm so close with the piano concert. it's jus cool. God has shined his way for me. showered me with his blessing.

anyway, you curious to know? for my O levels results, it's not bad la. R4 got 15... C5 for english (finally i passed... after four years!!) E8 for humanities, A1 for Science, B3 for Chinese, maths and accounts. and i ended up going to NP!! banking and financial services... it's so cool! it's my dream course.! i hope everthing goes on smoothly.really.

don't know why, nothing seemed to bother me nowadays, i'm jus filled with joy, at most, i'll be paranoid for unabling to prac on my piano, due to some family reasons. it's veyr very very irritating. sometimes think of it also feel like crying.i like the way i live, and i praise God for giving this life. but at times, i really don't know what he wanted...

i had been asking, wht have i always been expecting? wht? i got no reply. sex? love? money? all kinda poosibility. sex, love & money, who doesn't want? i know i should be satisfied. what do is demand? i wanted to get involve with music, and here i am, yes, involved. i really can't understand. i also asked, is it becoz i don't have enough love, or rather, i don't feel like being loved. maybe as a female, i'm very vulnerable. that cause me all these kind of thoughts. who doesn't like to be love. maybe, i'm still childish? i know tht i am being love, but i don't count tht as love, i only count them as love if they are those tht i wanna get involve with ( imean in a relationship loh). but i learnt to love every single one. Pros and Cons about this... i learn to love all of the mankinds. but, once they get hurt, even for ppl whom i don't know, i will get hurt too. my hrt will ach. for no reasons.

anyway, this is getting veyr veyr very long i think.. better get going, will try to update as much... i'm so tired... wanna go and slp already.. hahahahahahah!goodnight my loves!