AHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! wht a pity that i didn't scream at the sea that day when i was there for my class BBQ. i didn't even get to face the sea in peace.. each time when i'm in this mood... i jus feel like screaming.. of jus sit quietly at the beach or somewhere quiet... fighting to hold my tears back.. am i having some kind of lack of slp or wht? i don't know..

as always lah.. melinda mah.. always in this mood.. wht's so special.. don't u get so sick talking to me at times? i get so sick at myself. i'm quite disgusted at times. other than my anger and pessimism. wht's so good? prob nothing. NOTHING. wht a dumb idiot. it always happens! each time during test or exam.. things will nv fail to happen that will bother me. wht's that?! extra challenge?! things i treasure will leave me very soon.. y give them to me in the first place? jus go away.. y must u be here when u don't even bother? insensitive freak. it's ok. maybe u are busying with other ppl who deserve it more than me. not this kinda idiot who always get into a bad mood or something. nah.. i know there's something wrong with me.. i've getting this kinda treatment since pri sch.. and for those who dislike me... feels so shiok to hear that rite? more for u to hear and to feel happy.

wht happened to me? ahh.. nothing.. jus the same old me.. no one will bother saving me. send me to IMH one day..

i'm jus a nobody.

sigh... one big morning and i'm here to blog again. a lil dumb.. i'm feeling VERY guilty.. haven't started studying.. i think i'm gonna do badly this sem.

aren't life weird? ppl whom u treat as good friend.. can treat u as trash... diff ppl got diff definition in life.. maybe that's y. i start to wonder.. when i was back in m'sia.. i wondered... wht if... this friend/ relative died.. wht is my reaction.. BAH.. i know i got too much time to think lah.. but in m'sia is that boring de. and so.. i tot about it.. and i know my reaction.. from young.. i've always wondered... who will even bother about me if i land in the hospital one day. i seemed like a nobody.. i do'nt touch anyone's life (don't mean that touching ppl's lifes means i'm somebody) i'm not impt in anyone's ppl life.. only my parents perhaps. how sad things can be.

this christmas was showered with blessings. one of the happiest i had for the past few years. my wish for this yr didn't come true. it's always v weird.. whtever that i wish for.. will turn out opposite.... boo.

i'm feeling soo.. lonely.

bah! i'm back from m'sia! kk.. wht's the big deal?! i haven't go back for half a yr le.. so unfillial.. this time round went back for xmas.. though it's jus a short trip of 2D 1N.. alot of things happen! i shall leave that aside.. family matters... hee.. went back in the noon on the 25th.. that whole day was jus rotting at home.. will late night then i went over to my godparent's to stay over... slpt with godsis.. chat till 2am.. (each time i stay over at hers.. i will talk till i slp de), woke up @ 6am the next day to go kukup.. which is like.. a 1.5hrs car ride away? i was such a pig.. jus slpt throughout the journey.. hehe.. reached kukup.. looked around thinking that there was nothing.. kinda -_-.. who knows.. hehe got to take boat boat!! go kelongs and such.. haha! was fun.. did a lil shopping. then heah down to the southest point of asia? something like that? in.. tanjong piai, about 30mins ride from kukup... slpt again... nothing much.. like as if we went there jus to take pics.. moved on to pontian for lunch.. and to ayer bemban to fish farm.. ahah! all the trips i pigged.. i think i was trained from the last trip up to m'sia where we spent 60% of our trips on the car slping and moving around the whole m'sia. haha.. got back home at around 5pm... rot awhile.. everyone jus head straight to bed.. haha.. then i jus went out with my cousin and dad... BAH! and my whole day jus ended like that.. return back to sing at around 12am... no jams.. only car jams jams! haha! i shall post up pics pics.. on da boat to kelong with mei mei emily.. hehhee
the vain pot..
i forgot wht's that that my bro is holding.. i only recall that the net infront of us has a snake..
here... tanjong piai.. southest point of asia. then wht's that at sentosa ar?

the pic above this is my family pic.. not really family pic lah.. short of one family.. that family is hard to trace back.. and 2 cousins who are not with us. seldom get to travel like this man.. we utilised all 4 cars for 3 family.. each car at least got 4 pax. the of course.. this pic is my sis and i... she dislike this pic.. haha but ... don't care.. gonna post it..

ok lah.. i'm having a very bad gastric pain now... gonna slp.. goodnight!!

bah! still no feel of xmas... hehehe.. my xmas seemed to be like ytr woh! hehehe.. had a class BBQ with my class.. with someone else... gift exchange.. and such.. haha! i was like super woman? ytr morning when i woke up, do'nt feel like eating.. then noon time i got out of my house.. can't find a time to eat.. and so... i went without b/f and lunch... and dinner starts at like 8pm.. haha.. didn't eat much... or did i?! don't know.. hahaz. gee.... let me post up my gifts here!! hehee.

gee... my HP.. hehehehe half of it mama gave me as Xmas pressie..

this, is from my gift exchange.. by jek bao! hehehe silly him, scare that i don't like.

and this? hahahz by my love loh... jk! hehe... from hui xin.. how sweet of her..

ahhh!!.. this is then from my darling.... mei mei!! i like it... nice hor!?!

and... a jacket from my sis...

and this! heheh is the 2nd present from my sister! hee.. dorothy perkins de clothes!

and this.. is from celine!! haha.. she must be saying that i'm cute.. that's y gave me such a cute one...

hahah! thanks..! thanks to all of u... that's part of my xmas pressie.. the 2nd half will be over at malaysia.. wait till i go back on the 25th... then i will know.. -giggles- other than that... no more le i guess... bah! i hereby, wish all u have a Blessed Merry Christmas!!!

gee.. after so long.. i finally meet up the gals.. been so long since i last saw them. hee... andris so kua zhang.. said that i've not met her for like 1 yr le.. not that long lah darling.. hahah! grace came along too.. i'm such a blur queen.. i'm suppose to meet her to pass her something.. but in the end.. as expected, i forgot to bring her stuff out... haha! reach orchard le then remembered that i forgot to bring it out! i'm such a dumb dumb! bah!!

Xmas is coming!! hehehe.. jus like.. a few days later.. hehe but it seems like tml is x'mas itself le.. got no special plans though.. 23rd BBQ, 24th got lunch, then night to.. to.. a friend's place.. 25th lunch again, back to m'sia for dinner.. then off to siaw chin house! heheh.. hee.. i've received 2 xmas pressie le! hehehe.. bah! from my sis and mummy... my sis bought me a jacket.. i'm so picky.. choose for so long le then set my eyes on one.. hee... mummy chipped in to buy me a HP.. the rest i've got to top it up hehehe. nvm.. still enough le... wht else is up?! dunnoe. hahahz Xmas is a period of thanksgiving and sharing.. this yr's xmas is not like xmas? i still remember how i did my xmas shopping last yr.. it was darn last min.. but it was a great shopping experience! with tons and tons of plastic bag! =x

i hope for those whom i bought presents will like the presents that i gave them. hee.. for my sis, mom and bro.. i'm not worried.. coz they chose theirs.. hehe! all i did was jus to pay. as for the rest.. if u don't like it.. i'm sorry.. -bows- gee..

lots of things recently.. been living in my dreams... so, yea.. time to wake up!! melinda??!! WAKIE WAKIE!! hahaha.. it's a good dream.. but nah.. stop dreaming.. hahaha.. bah! anyway.. i wish everyone a Blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year...

han han... bah. i love u too! don't miss me woh... -shys-

"whatever" --> how does this words sound to all of u who read my blog? normal? not so nice? to me.. i dislike this word.. it sounded as if that party sounded arrogant, elsewise, sounded as if u have jus irritated that person. well, maybe some of u think it's jus normal using it. but i jus find it totally rude. if u ever to see me use that word on you.. you can be assured that i ain't in a very good mood.

what about this word? "so?" --> once again... it's normal to some.. but i also dislike this word (some of u may say.. you do'nt like that's your business lah.. as long as i like it). but to me.. at times when ppl tell me "so?" it seems like people don't wish to listen to what we've got to say.. like those kinda.. "you-tell-me-for-what" attitude...


BAH... we jus belong to the different world.

jus got a call from hanying jus now.. asked me to do ME tml.. BAH!! bu yao!! do once ME.. my temper got worse once. =( i pity everyone now... pity them for being my friend... what can i give them? nothing. jus a taste of my meanie-ness. draw me a box.. let me stay in there alone. i know what i wan for christmas.. one BIG BIG BIG box.. to put myself in... and they will be my new world.

ytr... went to westmall to support my friend for her harmonical performance.. gee... looking at their conductor, celine suddenly laughed, saying that our conductor is cute during our past concert.. -giggles- hee... went to walk around.. BAH! went ero.. AHHhhh.. i don't care.. i must blog this... i saw this... this.. night gown.. that's damn fascinating lah! but damn ex... $40 bucks.. think got discount, but.. also not cheap bah. booo! gosh.. damn high recently.. -shakes head- i want i want!!!

went to DFS sales.. with my sister.. who has a TA pass.. which means.. i've got additional 25% off.. everything is like.. branded goods.. not a place for me man.. so only got myself something that is like.. 10 bucks cheaper than outside.. but it's common goods. hee.. went to esprit as well.. saw something i like damn much but then don't have my size.. boo!! BAH!

okay... heee. today.. i finally changed my phone.. to a samsung phone.. the egg phone... that's how i call it... bah!

finally... band resumed.. went to band with a slightly different feeling today..well.. but it ended up quite good.. after that went to do some shopping with brian and shiying.. seriously ar... ther's alot of things in my mind that i wanna get.. it's either i can't find it, if not, i can't make up my mind if i wanna buy.. scare i make the wrong decision..

negative feelings again.. what's wrong with things? super sensitive... i think..someone is alr been pissed off by me.. or rather.. start to can't stand me le.. bah.. melinda melinda... why always like that? bahhhhhhh... cry and let everything out can? stupid! tears don't wanna come down..

i felt very bad for somehting too.. dunnoe how to explain or describe.. jus feel bad about it. i think i'm not sincere enough... all my fault.. =(

workaholic? maybe... ytr morning. i was darn hungry... so ate a dumpling to sch... after sch.. i didn't eat with my classmates coz i tot i will be going home for lunch... so jus ate a curry puff.. then.. after my project meeting.. i went straight to work.. (anyway.. brian.. thanks for lending me ur lappy ytr..)... work was quite draggy ytr... was hungry at the same time.. only till 7pm.. i gave up.. went out and look for food.. almost get myself waffles again.. but i'm really sick of waffles... glenda asked me to go CC get food.. and so i did.. only when i started eating.. then i know y i'm so hungry.. i realised that i dind't eat proper food for the whole day... i've spoilt my gastric le. =( bah. sighie.!

i remember how u tease that i was stupid when i couldn't guess wht's underneath the wrapping paper.. i remembered how u used to encourage me... i remember how we used to chat.. i remember the way u look at me when u talk to me... i remember every single thing.. but that are jus pure memories that i can keep.. can we stay the same? can't we be different? i'm missing u...

i was wrapping my friend's xmas present when i suddenly remembered u.. ahhh.. crap... bah!

still not recovering.. y like that y like that?!! haven't been in a really good mood these few days.. wasn't in a really bad one too.. jus.. not that good lah... i've gotten my pay today le... so sad lah... when i went work.. glenda tot i took my pay le... coz she didn't see mine.. to only realise that they actually didn't take over my pay.. as well as someone else's pay.. so..yea.. 2 of our pay were left at goldenmile. .boo hoo hoo! i tot i wasn't going to get it today.. but well.. in the end freevone took over for me! yay! but...i'm not excited about the pay anyway... none of it gonna belong to me... xmas and birthdays.. sigh..

BAH! suddenly no mood le.. mom jus came back and told me that one uncle i knew since young pass away.. quite affected by it though i don't really know him well.. whtever.. sigh.. life is jus.. so sudden... y aren't i the one?!

it's monday.. monday blues? no no! hee. first of all.. y no blue?! coz CM lecture and tutorial was cancelled! which mean i don't have to see her.. sch will end early for me!! yay-ness.. and so.. i asked my junior out.... yup.. it's a small outing for us woh.. hehehe... there's... me, brian, samuel, shiying.. went to rocky master to drink.. yar yar.. it's my idea again.. coz it's rocky master mah! hahahz -giggles- but sad to say.. there's not double bake choc cake today.. =( did a lil shopping.. kinda know wht i wanna buy for who.. aimed le... sat i shall claim them all! hahahz oops =x yup...

sighie.. i'm kinda stressed up for projects... think i'm jus.. dumb.. and..kinda.. of no use.. like not doing anything... not contributing like that.. BAH. whtever.. sorry guys...

realised that my wish list is removed? seriously speaking.. i also dunnoe wht i want.. i don't like to expect wht i can get.. i like surprises.. haha.. BAH.. but well.. who will give me surprises? nvm... that will be yrs later... -_-

sobz.. i'm tired...sobz...

fondue fever is finally like over after.. 3 months?!... my cough is still persisting... wht have i been doing? been so blur for one whole week le..

worked ME the 2nd time on the 01/12... gee... surprised that i can get out of my bed that early (5am) for work.. and to be hyper the whole day.. sigh.. premium coach suppose to run.. but dunnoe for wht reason didn't run.. on the 1st.. lots of new comer came in too... needless to say... me and brian was kinda paranoid over it.. and hanying says that we are nuts.. BAH! been called back to work ME for the 2nd as well.. but rejected... no more energy.. rested, and worked ME today! BAH! ok lah.. dad drove me to work.. winnie jus can't stop whinning about the newbies... hanying can't stop talking about her didi (leon)... leon took over brian and my status le.. boo hoo hoo!who cares lah! aiya.. today i was so stressed up at work... woman are usually super moody during a certain period.. yea.. idiotic.. then.. we have our dear juniors... who also created some trouble and we have to help.. sigh. i dnnoe eh... maybe today bad mood lah.. ppl jus throw customers to me when i'm busy... BAHHHHHhhhhhhh.... brian ah.. jia you leh.. jiu melinda! sigh...

christmas.. sigh.. my pay's gonna fly le.. none of it is going to come to myself i guess... my sister wants brand.. mother wants pants... still got friends... man.. sigh.. i can de...

i really dunnoe wht's there for my wishlist le.. maybe... to be happy? christmas and cny all.. doesn't mean anything to be anymore.. it's not fun anymore.. i'm not looking forward to it.. it's jus.. "oh.. 12! time to open present/ take ang bow... then slp" what's special about it? i can't even remember wht i received for xmas last yr.. this christmas.. maybe i should work ba..

been getting blue blacks... today added one new one.. =( while carrying water.. it kept droping on my leg =( boo!