a brand new day! slept at 3am last night and woke up at 9am.. totally can't sleep the whole night last night.. had been so confused... yesterday, i made a big decision, i've jus resigned as a tutor.. have to skip this week's choir and cell group, have to skip OG4's sentosa outing.. for a family trip.. initially, i dind't agree to go with my parents... they are going to tour in m'sia.. go alot of place.. kuantan, KL, penang? tai ping?! gosh.. i also dunnoe where la.! then yesterday my dad called home for me.. ask me y i don't wanna go.. then i insisted not to go.. who knows.. my sis nag for one whole night.. aiya! i'm jus irritated.. but don't know y.. i've decided to go.. can say please my family also can.. song, it i didn't remember wrong, the lyrics goes something like, 'when i was young, i'd listen to the radio, waiting for my favourite song' then i forgot le...heheheheh! but it's a movie by splease my dad also can.. jus go and stop they mouth from talking about me.it's just so sicko at times... will be leaving tonight and will come back one week later... gonna miss so much... much my piano.. miss my bed... *the rest don't wanna mention =)*

today, am suppose to go out with hui qi de.. in the end didn't... coz it was raining at our side.. then by the time we go out also late for movies le.. heheheh! wanna watch yesterday once more.. this title reminds me of carpenter's song.. tht very sweet ammi cheng and andy lau. i also wanna watch sharks tales when i come back! kinda cute! oops... i'm out of topic again.. from going out talk till movies.. hahahahah! anyway.. before i come online to blog.. i was watching shallow hal.. it's a very nice show.. (dunnoe will knock senses into guys anot) hahah! but i think the movie abotu the gal is abit toooooo 'kua zhang' in a certain sense la. anyway.. suddenly can't think of anything to say le... mind blocked... coz i know i forgot to do soemthing.. hahaha getting old ya.. hehehe! blog one week later ya? stay tuned!

hehee.. after not blogging for so long... i'm back! hehehe.. had been busy with exams the past week.. computer also giving problem.. so i might as well don't use, anyway, i found out that my computer very 'co-operative' when ever i have an exam going on.. my computer will auto break down.. hahha! O levels like this.. the past exam also like this.. muahahhh! the exams are ok. there's a number of 'first time' i experience dring preps:

• first time feel so feelingness after taking all the paper, unknowing if it's diff or easy
• first time burn midnight oil till 3am
• first time study like mad.. from 11am-10pm and still can't finish
• first time telling myself to let go and do whtever i can
• first time i come out with the line 'a student's worst nightmare is not not to study for exams but to enter the exam hall and have a black-out.

muahahahah! all weird first times right.. now, all i can do is to sit here and wait for results. hehehe now, i'm on my holidays till 5th dec while other schools are still having their exams... boring! had been going back to AES for band these few days. nothing much.. catched up with some juniors.. hehe just kinda bored la... i think i prefer taking exams.. to study like siao rather than to have a holiday.. nothing much to do in a hol.

oh ya, anyone have any piano teacher to recommend? muahahah! i need one.. eh.. sms/call me and let me know okie?! thanks... don't know why.. whenever i start playing hanon on my piano (the studies that i also start with before playing any piece) my right wrist onwards will pain.. then i totally crash my mood for piano already.. jus so frustrated.. grrrrr *bad tempered* hahahaz!

yesterday night, i had a war with a cockroach... sounded so corny? yup.. serious.. war with cockroach, i was still up late reading my book, 'Angel's Ashes' (it's a very nice book, though you don't know wht's the auther talking about in the front few pages) then suddenly tht thing fly in.. grrr irritatin.. i wanna go slp le.. then fly in.. all my hair stand! went to take those.. magazines and stuff... then fight la.! in the end i won.. but don't dare to go to bed.. scare still got more... didn't had a good night slp... grrr.... heheheh! now.. rotting at him.. waiting for matthew to come back.. then we are off to esplanade.. i'm bringing him for mudpie.. hahah we jus simply love it! muahahahahah! okie... update either tonight or tml okie? promise! hahahah

hehe.. after busy preparing for my exams.. after multiple times of reformatting my com.. i'm finally back to blogging! days had been so busy for me for the past few weeks... exams.. exams.. and exams.. first time in my life did i ever burn midnight oil for my exams.. however, it's better than waking up and studying right before the exam right... through this exam.. i really really learn not to stress myself.. what i can.. i can.. i tried by best to study... i also learnt tht.. a student's worst nightmare is not not to study for exams.. but stepping into the exam hall with an empty brains.. hehehe! my sister laughed when i told her this.. well, i think she just don't understand la.! hahah!

anyway! test's over!!!! one load is off my mind.. but another thing came in... i've to start looking for a piano teacher again! i'm totally speechless about this topic already... totally.. i'm not willing to give up. and yet i don't know wht to do! aiya.. i'm jus st***d.. thought alot during the past few days ( i know.. i've nv ending of thoguhts) what do i wan? what do i not wan? ok. fine! down this subject.. i didn't wanna think about it. maybe i'm jus at the downside of my life.. again! again!!! argh.. i like forever down ar.. or is it only when i update my blog? muahahahah! okie la. i try to take things easy. as for now.. it's hols.. had been going back for band these few days... tml... go... esplanade ba... go borrow scores.. dunnoe wht to borrow this time round le... i'm frustrated... i dunnoe y.. when ever i start practising on my piano (hanon)... my right wrist hurts... it totally affect my mood to play... jus feel like banging on the piano... you know.. like those handicap feel when they first came to know tht they are handicap... sigh sigh.. alright... today's posting is till here.. another rubbish post.. yes, i know... gee

sorry for not blogging for so many days ya.. sigh.. i'm apologising to myself.. who would see my blog?! goodness.. now.. it's exam break.. and yet wht i'm doing? online.. what the hack... i'm feeling very very sad.. why? don't ask me.. i also don't know.. i have a feeling tht i'm going to fail my exams.. becoz i'm not studying hard... i think i will have to retake my module le.. i don't feel like studying.. y must i study? i'm tired about very things *grr! jus hurt my feet.. ass! PAIN!* sigh.. i feel like smacking myself at times to wake myself up? STOP DREAMING MELINDA! i've dreamt for the past 17 years of my life.. y am i still dreaming?! i don't understands.. why must i land myself in such a pathetic state? i chose it and yet i complain... grrrrr. i jus hate all tht is going around me... yesterday i was thinking.. if i got admitted to the hospital... who will come and visit me.. maybe then.. ppl will visit me.. ass! stupid attention seeker! why am i like this? why?! someone pls tell me... sigh

started my day by going to sch this morning... got to sch at 10am for stats extra lesson.. however.. mr ong got the time mixed up.. he tot it's 1030h.. so we had to wait loh.. lesson was fine.. but towards the end.. i switched off le... the lesson ended at around 1400h.. then both me and jasmine went boon tong kee to makan.. damn full! *burb* hehehe then head home.. hehe each of us pay around... $9.75 hehehe got to eat my favourite fried beancurd... yum yum.. missed mudpie... talking about this.. pei ting promised met to bring me out for mudpie after my exams... sigh.. forget it la.. i don't even think i wanna eat le.. fail subject very fun meh.. where got mood to eat..asssssssss! why must ppl think tht i'm clever? i'm NOT.. i'm NOT clever at all...believe me for once will you?! i'm not smart! jus becoz i wear specs.. means smart?! naive! i've let everyone down.... totally... i'm so ashame of myself... same on you melinda! i don't even wan to see you anymore.. you are such an ass! SHAME!